I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
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