Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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