she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize