Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
