Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
