My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I want a musical about memes.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
