I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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