sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
