Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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