i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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