I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
