My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
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Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
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the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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