the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
