i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
