i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
