You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
