just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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