She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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