We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
