haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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