it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
