At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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