Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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