he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
