I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
