i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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