My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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