I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
