I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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