i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
