Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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