I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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