we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
