Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
ttyl tear gas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize