took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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