it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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