he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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