the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize