i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
