No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
