sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
