This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
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