I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
