it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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