I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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