so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
