I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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