I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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