i don't like sucking hair
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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