I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder