Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.