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• (830): View more from Texas

  You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?

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  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (352): View more from Florida

  redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!

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• (516): View more from New York

  Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?

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• (585): View more from New York

  Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride

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  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?

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