Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.

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(718): View more from New York

Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."

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(716): View more from New York

Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.

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(708): View more from Illinois

You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....

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(607): View more from New York

Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience

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