Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women

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(708): You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women http://tfl.nu/qt4m

Replies (11) Good night (774) Bad night (1822)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.

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(612): life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix. http://tfl.nu/ht0i

Replies (32) Good night (695) Bad night (4831)
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(703): View more from Virginia

tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.

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(703): tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions. http://tfl.nu/m5qp

Replies (67) Good night (828) Bad night (5792)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.

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(703): Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day. http://tfl.nu/0otc

Replies (21) Good night (1005) Bad night (6698)
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(516): View more from New York

the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY

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(516): the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY http://tfl.nu/b20j

Replies (14) Good night (6886) Bad night (1317)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"

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(617): We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?" http://tfl.nu/sgk0

Replies (18) Good night (991) Bad night (4875)
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(510): View more from California

no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.

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(510): no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her. http://tfl.nu/kcyk

Replies (15) Good night (5071) Bad night (1298)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.

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(708): Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail. http://tfl.nu/vicx

Replies (6) Good night (2622) Bad night (1052)
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(229): View more from Georgia

He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.

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(229): He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam. http://tfl.nu/61az

Replies (1) Good night (980) Bad night (1619)
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(360): View more from Washington

Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.

(253): View more from Washington

you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.

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(360): Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone. (253): you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker. http://tfl.nu/ov6f

Replies (3) Good night (2658) Bad night (1129)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours

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(503): I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours http://tfl.nu/g0b7

Replies (4) Good night (645) Bad night (1143)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.

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(202): I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself. http://tfl.nu/zw8t

Replies (3) Good night (632) Bad night (365)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do

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(608): Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do http://tfl.nu/pe9f

Replies (0) Good night (460) Bad night (250)
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(519): View more from Ontario

He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them

(1-519): View more from Ontario

Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know

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(519): He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them (1-519): Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know http://tfl.nu/74uk

Replies (1) Good night (761) Bad night (228)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.

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(256): Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke. http://tfl.nu/ybdt

Replies (2) Good night (247) Bad night (373)

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