i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.