Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
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Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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