Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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