my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize