My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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