You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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